Chapter 4, the wild geese return south, and the daisies grow cold

But now I can only silently stare at the shrimp that my mother has placed in my bowl, almost seeing a cluster of flowers in that vibrant red color

The long wind howls as it crosses the water, the returning wild geese continuously reflect against the setting sky

Xiao Caiyi and I lay side by side on the windowsill, the intricately carved rosewood window frame exuding a unique scent of wood. In the past, I found this fragrance warm and pleasant, but at this moment, it felt stifling, tightening my chest. In contrast, the frost-kissed blue chrysanthemums in the corner outside the window still bloomed defiantly. Their slender petals drooped gently, some almost touching the ground, yet they curled gracefully upward, bending into a soft arc of resilience.

My mother, with her deep black eyes, gently stroked my frail bones and said slowly: "As long as we are careful in our dealings, given our status and the distant support of the Xiao family army from Suzhou, we will not be in too much danger for the time being. Be cautious in everything, or else that engagement will merely be an empty promise."

I am his younger sister, and he is my older brother. We are very close, but should we be this intimate? After the matters concerning our mother and Xueqing, I have developed a somewhat vague understanding of relationships between men and women. Is it crossing the line to be this close?

As they began to discuss, my heart lifted, then sank again, sinking all the way down to the icy depths of my heart, as clear as snowmelt. Yu Wen Zhao looked at me with a face full of affection, using his rough and sturdy soldier's hand to stroke my black hair

Mother retracted her smile, took the jade-green tea cup with gold accents, and slowly rotated it between her delicate fingers, pondering: "The marriage alliance between the Huangfu family and the Yuwen family is indeed a good idea. However, Hong'er and Xie'er are already married, and among the other sons of the Yuwen family, considering their age, talent, and status, I fear there may not be a suitable match."

But there is nothing I can say; the only thing I can do is obediently eat the shrimp one by one.

Yuwen Zhao extended his large palm like a fan, firmly encircling his mother's slender waist, and laughed, "You must have stopped growing by now, right? Isn't it just this delicate grip? A naturally willow-like waist, truly the mark of a beauty!"

"Brother Yi." I wiped my tears, reached out to hold his hand, and forced a smile as I said, "You don't need to worry too much. Didn't you hear what Yu Wenzhao said? Yu Wenqing was sent to a Buddhist temple for nurturing and training due to his poor health. Since he hasn't returned for so many years, it is likely that he is still unwell. By the time I reach the age to get married, who knows if he will still be alive! Even if he is alive, I can find a way to make him die!" Since he hasn't returned for so many years, it is likely that he is still unwell. By the time I reach the age to get married, who knows if he will still be alive! Even if he is alive, I can find a way to make him die!

Many years later, when I think back to my ignorance and naivety, I will regret it deeply. Such a clear expression of love, yet I was still so foolish and naive! If I had clearly told him at that time that Xiao Caiyi is just my brother, and will always be, would the outcome have been different?

Being summoned all of a sudden must certainly be related to the matter from this morning

However, today, what I have painted is landscape.

At noon, my mother unexpectedly called for me and Xiao Caiyi to have a meal together in the hall

I carefully blew on the wet ink, quite surprised that I possessed such writing ability. In the vastness of the mountains and waters, amidst the desolation of fallen trees, it clearly conveyed my worries about the road ahead and my deep sorrow

Upon hearing my words, Xiao Caiyi slightly straightened her bent body, slowly raised her head in the shadow of the sunlight, and the disheveled strands of hair before her forehead trembled gently, shimmering with faint golden halos.

Xiao Caiyi's face was pale, beads of sweat dripped from his forehead, he moistened his hands in the water, quickly dried them with a cloth, and held the teacup tightly in his hands. Seeing that everyone was watching him, he forced a smile and said: "I was so busy laughing that I accidentally tipped over the teacup."

But now, can I still not grow up, can I still dare not to grow up? How much blood of relatives, how many helpless struggles, how much pain engraved in my heart, like the ever-rising tides, lie before me.

Mother lifted the painting, contemplated it for a long time, and then set it down, looking at me with a complex expression: "Qing, have you really made your decision?"

I approached him to pull him away. He obediently allowed me to draw him away from the space directly illuminated by the sunlight, still with a pair of bright eyes, deeply gazing at me, appearing gentle and compassionate, yet there was a kind of flame that I could not comprehend.

Mother, we all must survive, and live well; as for the snow situation, my dear sister, I will not allow her to be trampled upon any longer

Yu Wenxie raised an eyebrow and said with some sarcasm, "Young Master Xiao's swordsmanship is exquisite, and he is quite efficient in his daily tasks; it is all the fault of those palace maids for not knowing how to serve properly"

That kind of despondency and sorrow has made his once bright and shining eyes deep and bottomless, no longer resembling the youthful and joyful boy who used to accompany me in the past

In recent days, I have been avoiding company due to illness, only dining alone in my room. Xiao Caiyi has always accompanied me, and naturally, she is also reluctant to be in the presence of the Yuwen family, never stepping into the front hall.

Mother's body stiffened slightly, and she smiled, saying: "As for my feelings, I have only this daughter, and I wish to keep her for a few more years; there is no need to rush it."

Having eaten quite a bit, I still occasionally picked up a few more vegetables, feeling somewhat disinterested as I ate; the palace maids, seeing this, brought in tea again, which was meant to be consumed after the meal

The midday feast of whole shrimp is a remarkable creation by the imperial chef, featuring fresh river shrimp stir-fried and cooked with a variety of vegetables. The tender red shrimp and vibrant green vegetables present a strikingly beautiful palette. With over twenty different cooking methods employed, the dishes are served in exquisitely appropriate vessels, creating more than twenty delightful vistas.

Two small white-necked yellow-winged birds are hopping among the flowers, appearing carefree, yet they are diligently foraging for food. One day, as autumn gives way to winter, with snow blanketing the ground, if they do not have sufficient food stored, they will only succumb to hunger and cold.

"Living like this..." Xiao Caiyi repeated my words, her gaze reflecting a certain emotion that I could not articulate. Suddenly, she embraced me, her warm lips pressed against my forehead

I thought that perhaps one day I could truly kill Yu Wen Zhao's son, and a wave of comfort washed over me

Xiao Caiyi retreated, facing the house adorned with gold and jade, as if speaking to herself, or perhaps in self-reproach: "How can I allow you to continue living like this?"

In addition to them, there was a man in a red robe whose appearance closely resembled that of Yuwen Zhao, but his eyes were much colder than Yuwen Zhao's. Even when smiling, they exuded a chill akin to ice and snow. This was none other than Yuwen Zhao's eldest son, Yuwen Hong.

Brother Yi is mistaken; in fact, the birds are not happy either

Unfortunately, at the age of thirteen, despite being well-cared for, I was still a confused child, with only one unwavering belief that was crystal clear: I wanted to survive and help my loved ones live well.

For a moment, everyone dispersed. Just as I settled down in my room, Xiao Caiyi rushed in, dismissed the palace maids, and grabbed my hand, asking in a hoarse voice: "Qi Qing, have you lost your mind? Do you know what kind of people the Yu Wen father and son are?"

However, if there is Yuwen Zhao present, it would be a significant eyesore. Moreover, there is also Yuwen Xie, who continues to sweep around my face and chest without restraint, making it nearly impossible for me to sit still.

Before the mother could speak, Yu Wenzhao had already said: "It's nothing, it's nothing. Young people are bound to be a bit reckless. Moreover, the Xiao family is also from a military background, and they are not entirely unfamiliar with Xie Er. It would be better to get closer in the future."

Yuwen Zhao discreetly observed his mother's expression and chuckled, saying: "Wanyi, this matter is merely a casual remark; it primarily depends on your and Qiqing's intentions. There is indeed no need to rush into it."

Xiao Caiyi glanced at me, lowered her head, and said, "It's nothing, it's nothing." However, her voice was very low.

Resting emotions! Resting emotions! He murmured, dragging out a long tail of sound that was almost a moan.

Amidst the hearty laughter, it seemed as if a sound of something falling could be heard

Yuwen Xie straightened his arms and said with a beaming smile: "Princess Qi Qing, I apologize for bumping into you this morning. If you eat this shrimp, it will mean that you accept the apology from your reckless elder brother, how about that?"

Thus, I smiled

I am not sad because I have not grown up

I smiled faintly in response, lowered my head to bite into the shrimp, my eyes filled with the bright red color of the shrimp. This scoundrel, even if you have taken my mother, this throne ultimately belongs to my father and my brother, what right do you have to dictate our lives?

"Yes, he will not live to the day you marry. No one from the Yuwen family will live to see the day you are brought into the Yuwen family as a bride." I heard him say this in such a chilling manner, terrifying to the point of being somewhat unfamiliar, somewhat eerie, causing even a trace of coldness to rise within my heart

Then the sudden claw of Lu Shan reached out to my chest

In the evening when she arrived, I was at the window dipping my brush in ink and painting

In Yu Wenhong's eyes, a chill floated, and he casually remarked: "In fact, the Empress Dowager need not marry the princess off far away; it would suffice to choose a worthy son-in-law from our own family. This way, he could be by the Empress's side every day, just like today when the family is so close and harmonious. Isn't that wonderful?"

Mother coughed lightly, picked up the teacup, sipped a little, and a palace maid had already brought a cloisonné spittoon for her to spit into, swiftly retreating afterward. She then softly said: "Qiqing is still young, just in the process of growing, which is why she appears slender. Once she turns fifteen and her body gradually takes shape, she should become fuller.

He has also grown up. We all had to grow up overnight

I know. I leaned over the dressing table, gazing at my own face, which was still youthful yet exceptionally beautiful, reflected in the redwood inlaid mirror engraved with entwined lotus flowers, and quietly said: "I know they are not worth anything at all"

The cold, pitch-black coffin of Yang Shufei was placed in a corner of the side hall

In the corner of her eye, Xiao Caiyi was crouching down, trembling as she picked up the teacup that had fallen onto the golden-threaded carpet. The spilled tea had stained a large area with a brownish-yellow hue, and the jade cup rolled amidst the scattered tea leaves, swaying back and forth. Xiao Caiyi reached out with her five fingers, but only managed to push the jade cup further away. It was a young palace maid who hurriedly came forward and retrieved it.

I also chuckled foolishly, playfully tugging at Yu Wenzhao's beard, and exclaimed: "Moreover, I do not allow my son-in-law to keep a beard! Men with beards look truly old!"

In fact, Xiao Caiyi has never been so sorrowful.

The brand new cloud silk quilt, just exposed to the sunlight, exudes a fresh and pleasant scent of cotton, evoking a sense of ease and beauty within me, as if I have returned to the sunny days of my childhood. Yan Yuanfeng holds my small hand, and we stumble along the jasmine flower garden, filled with laughter and joy, carefree and untroubled. Meanwhile, my mother always stands gracefully at the end of the path, gazing at me with tenderness and contentment

Xiao Caiyi seemed taken aback, and then a faint blush rose to her face as she said: "No... nothing, I just... sincerely hope that my dear sister Qiqing can live happily."

Everyone was momentarily stunned, and then burst into laughter. Yu Wen Zhao laughed so hard that tears streamed down his face, tapping my forehead and saying, "Qi Qing, Qi Qing, indeed, indeed you have grown up, haha..."

Xiao Caiyi's eyes were slightly red, and she hurriedly turned away, lowering her head and saying: "How can I not blame myself? In the past, you always smiled, living joyfully like a bird. When did Sister Qi Qing stop smiling and start sighing so sadly?"

Yuwen Xie chuckled softly to himself, resumed drinking tea, and fell silent.

Yuwen Zhao has commanded those palace maids: "Why haven't you brought the cold tea yet! Knowing full well that I am in the middle of eating, you bring such hot tea!"

He picked a large bunch of grapes and placed it in my small palm. The closely packed grapes resembled large, plump purple pearls, possessing a cool and elastic texture. I carefully cradled them in both hands, yet could not hold them all.

As for my marriage, it was hastily settled at the dining table on this day

It has been a long time since we returned to the Zhaoyang Hall, and we remain silent.

For a moment, the air was stagnant, and a trace of anxiety flashed in the mother's eyes, while Yu Wen Zhao stood by with his arms crossed, smiling, clearly not intending to stop his son's disrespectful behavior

If this is a family banquet organized by my father, how delighted I would be to act spoiled in his embrace

Life is like floating clouds. This moment is different from that moment

I nestled beside my mother, and my heart gradually warmed. My mother also disapproved of my marriage to Yu Wenqing; she and Xiao Caiyi only hoped that this tedious engagement would come to an end, preferably with some unforeseen event that would cast the entire Yu Wen family into hell, never to be reborn.

I clutched my own sleeve tightly, allowing tears to stream down my cheeks, dripping down as I asked Xiao Caiyi: "I do not wish to marry into the Yuwen family, but what can I do? My mother has to endure bullying from Yuwen Zhao, let alone me? Yang Shufei, who refused to submit to Yuwen Zhao, has already met a tragic end, and Sister Xueqing has been tormented to the brink of death!"

Xiao Caiyi complied, picked up the teacup and took a sip, only to find it was freshly served boiling tea, which immediately scalded her. She hurriedly spat it out, her face turning bright red in an instant, even the strands of hair on her forehead fell down, making her appear quite flustered

The places he has touched seem as if a line of caterpillars has crawled over them, evoking a strong urge to vomit in me

"From now on, I fear we will all have to live like this." I said

But he is still my brother Yi. I sighed and said, "Forget it, after all, there is still plenty of time. Even when I reach the age of marriage, there are still nearly two years to go. Last time you mentioned that things are quite chaotic outside, and no one can predict the situation two years from now. Let's just take it one day at a time for now."

I nodded, leaning against my mother's chest, feeling her warmth and tenderness, and softly said: "Mother, you are too tired alone. I will help you. I also need to help myself and Xueqing."

I turned my thoughts a few times, slightly retreated, reached out with my chopsticks to pick up that shrimp, and smiled, saying: "Brother Yuwen Er has already said it was unintentional, so how could I possibly mind?" I opened my mouth and almost swallowed the shrimp whole, not bothering to look at Yuwen Xie, whose mouth was agape.

But is she too young in such a tumultuous and ever-changing situation

I seemed to catch a whiff of the sweet and fragrant scent of grapes, which made my mouth water uncontrollably as I pointed with my chubby little finger at the large bunch of purple grapes

In the haze, it seems that water droplets are falling on my cheeks. Are they the droplets of water that have fallen from the grapevine

I feel a bit heartbroken. Right now, besides my mother, the only one who treats me the best is Xiao Caiyi. He must be feeling sorry for me and can no longer bear to see me suffer even the slightest grievance

My mother is also smiling, yet she gazes at me with profound meaning. Our eyes meet, and my heart is as clear as snow, yet also as cold as snow.

Of course! Yu Wenxie shamelessly replied offhandedly, his gaze wandering only around my neck, causing me to break out in goosebumps, yet I dared not show a hint of displeasure, feigning ignorance as I focused on chewing the shrimp.

"Then you still, you still..." Xiao Caiyi gasped, suddenly lifting a rosewood chair and with a "bang" smashed it onto the carpet, instantly breaking one of the chair legs, with wood chips flying everywhere

The young Qi Qing intends to rely on her intelligence to negotiate with the Yuwen clan

I never imagined that, several years later, I would long for Yu Wenqing to live as I now wish for his death

I vaguely feel that something is amiss, yet I cannot quite articulate it; however, this matter must not be disclosed to my mother, as it would be disastrous for my brother to be scolded.

However, after chatting for a while, Yu Wen Zhao said: "It seems that Qi Qing's illness has almost recovered, so let's have meals together from now on! Staying cooped up in the room, you mustn't get bored."

He finished speaking and fled out as if in a hurry

For a moment, everyone laughed. Yu Wenxie did not want to be too difficult, chuckling as he continued to serve shrimp into my bowl, saying: "Since Qiqing loves shrimp so much, it would be better to eat more. You seem a bit too thin."

I was taken aback and hurriedly pushed him away, wiping my forehead with the back of my hand, and asked, "Brother Yi, what are you doing?"

Mother smiled gently, her crimson lips slightly parted like cherry blossoms: "Qiqing indeed resembles me quite a bit, but she is a bit stubborn. If she is sometimes willful, you, as uncles and elder brothers, naturally need to be more forgiving."

Young Master Xiao, coming from a prestigious family, would hardly pay attention to such trivial matters. Yu Wen Zhao shot a glare at Yu Wen Xie, then turned back to his mother, patted her shoulder, and smiled, saying: If our children could become a couple, it would indeed be a tremendous blessing, Wan Yi, what do you think

The warm smile and bright yellow figure that father left us with at the end of his departure

However, I am only capable of painting flowers, birds, insects, and fish. When it comes to painting figures and landscapes, I lack a certain grace and vitality that comes from the flowing of garments in the wind. Yang Shufei once believed that this was because I have a vision for scenery in my eyes but lack emotional depth in my heart, which is why the figures and landscapes I paint resemble a dragon missing its eyes, thus losing their spirit

Yuwen Hong, who had remained silent all along, suddenly spoke up: "Your Majesty, the Empress Dowager, Princess Qiqing has not yet been betrothed, has she?"

Sister Snow's red | The bare, azure-purple body, with vacant, hollow eyes

My father said that I am talented, and the flowers, birds, insects, and fish I paint are vivid and lifelike, capturing their true forms perfectly

This night I slept soundly, as if I had laid down the heavy concerns that had long been weighing on my mind

I paused my ivory chopsticks, stopped chewing, seemingly forgetting to breathe, yet I could hear the irregular beating of my heart.

"Brother Yi, how can this matter be blamed on you?" I sighed, picking at the patterns on the window frame with my nails

Mother's expression finally changed slightly

Once again, someone extended a pair of intricately carved dragon ivory chopsticks, presenting a large shrimp to me, but instead of placing it in the bowl, it was directly dropped at the edge of my lips

The afternoon sunlight filtered through the window screen and illuminated Xiao Caiyi, blurring his features and obscuring his expression. One could only sense that his muscles were continuously trembling, while his usually flamboyant hair hung limply, covering half of his face

Yuwen Hong cracked his fingers and said, "Today is the fifth day of the month, and the tenth should be an auspicious day for the imperial decree. The Empress Dowager will issue a marriage edict on that day, which will surely be appropriate"

Yuwen Zhao carefully examined my face and chuckled, saying: "Absolutely, absolutely, whoever bullies our Qiqing, I will be the first to not let him off!"

Mother wore a casual floral green gauze long dress, her every movement swaying like a willow in the wind. Although she occupied the main seat, with the tall figure of Yu Wen Zhao beside her, she resembled a delicate and virtuous wife, much like when she sat beside my father on that day.

I gently exhaled, set down my chopsticks, tilted my head, and offered my father's murderer the purest and most flawless smile: "That Brother Yuwen San, is he really as good as my uncle says? My uncle must not boast for his own son! Otherwise, if I find out on the wedding day that the groom is an ugly monster, I will definitely kick him out of the bridal chamber, making him kneel on the stone path under the moon every day, forbidding him to touch me at all!"

"I am sorry, Qi Qing." Xiao Caiyi suddenly said

I stood there in a daze, always feeling as if there was some kind of pattern left on my forehead where he had kissed me. I continued to wipe it, feeling somewhat unhappy and quite puzzled by Xiao Caiyi's actions.

The pale face of the mother, powerless, is ensnared in the brocade quilt, amidst the filth of the tattered white sheets

The mountains are high and the sky is vast, with falling leaves rustling, waves rising and surging on the river, and broken waves rolling towards the heavens. A line of returning wild geese cries mournfully as they sweep across the river with their wings tilted. In the distance, there is gloom, behind there are thick clouds, and in the middle lies a vast expanse of blankness

The road ahead is difficult, but I will also learn to endure and to share the burden

Another palace maid hurriedly brought hot water and a towel for Xiao Caiyi to wash his hands, and prepared a fresh pot of strong tea for him.

Perhaps, burning one's boats is also a form of letting go

Such a pair of dirty, rough hands, is it really the case that they rub and knead on my mother's skin, smooth as satin, night after night

I was surprised to look up, as Xiao Caiyi's eyelashes fluttered, her bright and spirited eyes now clouded, resembling the overcast sky at this moment.

What can I do? I jumped up, unable to hold back my tears, and said word by word, "I hate Yu Wenzhao! Just seeing Yu Wenxie makes me want to vomit! That Yu Wenhong has long been plotting against me! I can easily imagine what kind of foolish person Yu Wenqing is!"

My mother understands me

We are walking on the edge of a cliff. My mother said that I could also try to save myself and save the snow situation

The mother remained expressionless, took a sip of tea, and then said with a light smile: "Since Lord Yuwen believes it is a good thing, it must be correct. Let us choose a date to finalize this matter."

A painting of returning geese, a myriad of sorrowful thoughts woven together

Laziness may arise, yet one must go, even to the extent of exerting oneself to the fullest, with all one's energy, to proceed.

Yuwen Zhao smiled and said: "Hong'er and Xie'er indeed already have wives, but I still have a Qing'er. Due to being weak in childhood, she was sent to be fostered by a high monk on Huayang Mountain. This year she has just turned seventeen. When I went to see her the other day, she had already grown into a graceful and beautiful young lady, a person of remarkable talent, with extraordinary eloquence, truly worthy of our affection!"

Yan Yuanfeng smiled like a spring breeze, even the faint sorrow that was barely visible between her brows seemed to have vanished

"I? The youngest?" Yu Wen Zhao asked in surprise, then burst into laughter

The mother smiled gently and said, "As for the specific date, let me discuss it with Lord Yuwen first. However, the Yuwen family is also a prominent household; if you wish to marry my Qiqing, you must show more sincerity. Do not let me see you bullying her!"